Thursday, October 13, 2016
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">DearAlienated Child! We are here waiting patiently. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/UnconditionalLove?src=hash">#UnconditionalLove</a> 💛 <a href="https://t.co/k74VFkZKiP">pic.twitter.com/k74VFkZKiP</a></p>— #PAS fatherscontact (@fatherscontact) <a href="https://twitter.com/fatherscontact/status/729181349140123648">May 8, 2016</a></blockquote>
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CAPRA actually has four (4) different types of legal attacks presently underway:
CAPRA actually has four (4) different types of legal attacks presently underway:
http://
http://
OIN FREE: Federal Class Action for U.S. Child Custody Victims -
Friends, I just joined CAPRA as one of the lead plaintiffs in an upcoming landmark federal class action lawsuit against all 50 States and the Federal Government, because I qualify as: (1) a biological parent whose child custody was unconstitutionally removed without due process; and, (2) I have been directly impacted by that during the last four years, i.e., within the statute of limitations. This class action is on behalf of *both* types of "family court" -- for wrongful victims of divorce-and-similar-with-kids *and* for wrongful victims of child protection services -- and includes suing on behalf of ANY parent affected by either "family court" type.
It's totally free to join, and the federal court relief being demanded includes the full restoral of my child custody rights under law, plusa nice share of the large amount in civil damages expected. Check it out!
It just requires entering someone's referral Code to join, so PLEASE use mine - 10465DG174 - in the CAPRA registration form, located on the bottom of the homepage at http://
Plus, check out their power-packed Legal Tips page for all parents fighting family court, too -- Wow!!
Thanks!!
Federal Class Action for U.S. Child Custody Victims
JOIN FREE: Federal Class Action for U.S. Child Custody Victims -
Friends, I just joined CAPRA as one of the lead plaintiffs in an upcoming landmark federal class action lawsuit against all 50 States and the Federal Government, because I qualify as: (1) a biological parent whose child custody was unconstitutionally removed without due process; and, (2) I have been directly impacted by that during the last four years, i.e., within the statute of limitations. This class action is on behalf of *both* types of "family court" -- for wrongful victims of divorce-and-similar-with-kids *and* for wrongful victims of child protection services -- and includes suing on behalf of ANY parent affected by either "family court" type.
It's totally free to join, and the federal court relief being demanded includes the full restoral of my child custody rights under law, plusa nice share of the large amount in civil damages expected. Check it out!
It just requires entering someone's referral Code to join, so PLEASE use mine - 10465DG174 - in the CAPRA registration form, located on the bottom of the homepage at http://
Plus, check out their power-packed Legal Tips page for all parents fighting family court, too -- Wow!!
Thanks!!
Saturday, May 7, 2016
Hostile Aggressive Parenting (HAP)
My ex suffers from a multitude of emotional problems, one of
which is Hostile parenting disorder. She has engaged in exactly the following
aggressions documented in a website called Hostile
Aggressive Parenting. These are the symptoms and tactics of HAP:
Will badmouth the other parent in
front of the children.
often say bad things about the other parent and constantly try to put a negative perspective on many of the things that the other parent does, even when the other parent is being reasonable and fair. HAP parents will not justify why they are saying to the child but just say bad things about the other parent.
Not willing to participate in any reasonable form of written communication.
Hostile-Aggressive Parents may try to avoid written communication such as letters, e-mails or faxes as these documents generally provide evidence to reveal their abusive and uncooperative behaviour. Some HAP parents may send typewritten notes on occasion but often will not put their signature on their notes.
Will tell the other parent and other third parties to deal only with their lawyer at times of minor conflict.
The HAP parent wishes to frustrate the other parent and believes that their lawyer will help them makes things more difficult and further frustrate the other party’s efforts to communicate.
Will frustrate normal and healthy telephone communication, such as supervising phone talk with kids, etc
Frustrating telephone communications is one of the most common behaviours that HAP parents demonstrate. The HAP parent will often attempt to frustrate phone communication in the following ways:
often say bad things about the other parent and constantly try to put a negative perspective on many of the things that the other parent does, even when the other parent is being reasonable and fair. HAP parents will not justify why they are saying to the child but just say bad things about the other parent.
Not willing to participate in any reasonable form of written communication.
Hostile-Aggressive Parents may try to avoid written communication such as letters, e-mails or faxes as these documents generally provide evidence to reveal their abusive and uncooperative behaviour. Some HAP parents may send typewritten notes on occasion but often will not put their signature on their notes.
Will tell the other parent and other third parties to deal only with their lawyer at times of minor conflict.
The HAP parent wishes to frustrate the other parent and believes that their lawyer will help them makes things more difficult and further frustrate the other party’s efforts to communicate.
Will frustrate normal and healthy telephone communication, such as supervising phone talk with kids, etc
Frustrating telephone communications is one of the most common behaviours that HAP parents demonstrate. The HAP parent will often attempt to frustrate phone communication in the following ways:
- When the phone rings, they will pick up the phone but then immediately hang up the phone on the calling party.
- Will not answer the phone when the other parent calls. Often the child may witness their parent let the phone ring & ring numerous time without picking it up.
- Turn off their answering machine when they see that it is the other parent who is calling which makes it difficult for the other parent to leave messages.
- Use the call block feature on the phone so that the other party cannot ring through to their number even though the other parent’s actions would not warrant the blocking of calls.
- Will hang up the phone immediately at the end of a conversation without giving the other parent a chance to respond. Not return phone messages left by the other parent even when left on an answering machine
- Force the child to speak to the other parent or family members on speakerphone or listen in on the children’s private conversations. Some HAP parents will force the child to converse with the other parent over a speakerphone or will listen in on the child conversation’s so that they can hear their child’s live telephone conversations with the other parent. HAP parents are literally paranoid about anything that their child may say to the other parent or about what the other parent may say to the child.
- Will order their child not to answer the phone when it rings, thereby limiting the child’s telephone contacts with the other parent. Many children in this situation are aware that their other parent is trying to call but are often too fearful of the HAP parent to pick up the phone even though they would like to.
- Will grab and take away the phone from the child in the middle of a conversation with the other parent.
- Remove phones after use and lock them away in a closet or room so that the child has no access to a phone or install phones high up on a wall, out of the reach for smaller children to be able to answer.
- Will not let the child use a cell phone that the other parent may have provided to the child in an attempt to help overcome some of the telephone communication difficulties. Sometimes the HAP parent will take the cell phone that was given for the child’s use and use it for their personal use and run up a bill which must be paid by the other parent..
Often the child will observe the telephone manners of HAP
parent which sets a bad role model for the child. The Hostile-Aggressive Parent
wishes to limit the child’s contact with the other parent and frustrate the
other parent. In some cases, HAP parents are trying to get the other parent to
do something that they can use as an excuse to call police.
Will say that the child does not want to speak to the other parent.
have the child call the other parent at prescribed times, even court ordered, and then say that the child did not want to speak to the other parent. Very often these children are afraid to even ask as they know the HAP parent will not be happy and may punish them in some ways.
Will not let older children speak for themselves.
HAP parents will generally call on behalf of the child even when the child is old or mature enough to relay the information to the other parent. For example, the HAP parent may call and tell the other parent that the child wants to come to their home for lunch. Rather than allowing the child to call himself/herself, the HAP parent will call to give the message.
Will undermine the other parent's authority
This could range from allowing a young child to stay up far too late at night or allowing the child not to do his/her homework. This is especially harmful with a teenage child as it encourages the child to manipulate one parent against the other to avoid discipline and consequences. Hostile-aggressive parents will allow the child to make decisions which clearly the child should not be making just for the purpose of getting the child to side with the HAP parent.
Will tell the child they cannot alter parenting times outlined on the court order because the court doen't allow it.
HAP parents try to deceive children by telling them that they cannot spend more time with the other parent because the court Order prohibits it. Although the HAP parent knows otherwise, the HAP parent wants the child to think that it is the court’s fault so that they can deflect blame away from themselves.
Will play on the children’s feeling of guilt and sympathy.
Some examples may include telling the child that they will be lonely or not loved if the child leaves to go with the other parent or telling the child that they were really looking forward to the child spending time with them for a specific event or function, even though it was the other parent’s parenting time. Children find it very difficult to express their wishes when put under pressure by the parent they are with at the time or against the wishes of the parent that they perceive to have the most power and control over them.
Will be uncooperative when it comes to working out summer and holiday schedules for children.
The hostile-aggressive parent will make all kinds of excuses and employ all sorts of tactics to impede negotiations between the other parent for summer holidays and other holidays throughout the year. The hostile-aggressive parent’s intention is to create uncertainty with the other parent, to create difficulties with the other parent’s schedule and to hopefully through the delay, to minimize the amount of time that the child will have to spend with the other parent. Quite often, an HAP parent will delay matters and then say that they already have things planned with the child, which of course, interferes with the non-custodial parent’s ability to schedule time with the child. The HAP parent is always looking for ways to make sure that the child’s time is scheduled around the HAP parent’s priorities and not around the child’s wishes or the priorities of the other parent.
Fail to involve the other parent in the choice of daycare providers.
Quite often the hostileaggressive parent will chose friends or people they know who will accept their side of the story without questioning them. They will search out to find day care providers who will side with them or bend the truth in their favour to help them make things difficult for the other parent. The daycare workers these parents choose often are ones who they know will not get "involved" to help resolve problems or will keep silent about reporting irregularities involving the children. Such daycare providers become, in effect, collaborative supporters to child abuse.
Choose third parties over the other parent to care for the child if they are unavailable.
Choose third parties over the other parent to care for the child when he/she is ill and not in school, regardless of the other parent’s availability and willingness to care for the child. The hostile-aggressive parent will use every opportunity to keep the other parent from having the chance to parent the child regardless of the wishes of the child or other parent so at times such as when the child is ill, the HAP will hire a babysitter in preference to allowing the other parent to care for the child.
Deny or delay access to the children by pretending that they are too sick or have too much homework, etc.
The hostile-aggressive parent will use every opportunity to keep the other parent from having the chance to parent the child regardless of the wishes of the child or other parent.
Create difficulties for the children to see the other parent on special occasions.
HAP parents will attempt to prevent the child from being with the other parent on special occasions such as birthdays, Father's or Mother's day, special family gatherings, etc. HAP parents can be very innovative in inventing excuses to keep children from seeing the other parent.
Insist that the children be returned precisely on time while not respecting these same rules themselves.
HAP parents may make a big issue about when the children are dropped off or picked up. Usually it is the sole custodial parent who is able to make the biggest fuss about this as the non-custodial parent has little ability to raise an objection.
Unwilling to make arrangements when situations arise which reasonably warrant some flexibility.
For instance, a hostile parent may refuse to vary parenting time to allow a child to attend events such as dance rehearsal, birthday parties and other events because they are desired by other parent.
Unwilling to any professional involved in helping the parents co-parent the children effectively.
Generally, the HAP parent does not want any other third parties involved who may bear witness to their Hostile-Aggressive Parenting. Quite often, the Hostile-aggressive parent will claim that third parties are biased or unprofessional as a way to justify not wanting to have them involved. HAP parents may initially support the involvement of third parties but then reject involvement of these people once they see that the third parties will not support their HAP behaviours.
Make claims of bias against any party involved with helping the family.
Generally, the HAP parent will try to make allegations of bias or non-professionalism against anyone who may become involved with helping the family. This may include assessors, social workers, access supervisors, child advocates, etc. HAP mothers will often allege that these people are members or supporters of “radical father’s rights” organizations in an attempt to discredit them before the court. Conversely, an HAP father may allege that the people are radical feminists or closely associated with women’s abuse shelters.
Take the children to their “own” counsellors/doctors/etc without the knowledge/permission of the other parent.
The hostile-aggressive parent will often take his/her child to a professional such as counsellor or family doctor to obtain documentation such as letters of support or opinions which may help them win to disrupt the child’s relationship with the other parent. The HAP parent will not want the professionals to obtain any input from the other parent as they do not want the professional to be influenced by information from the friendly parent, which often is only the truth.
Unwilling to consider any kind of fair and equal parenting arrangement for the child
Unwilling to consider any kind of fair and equal parenting arrangement for the child when such an arrangement is desired by the other parent and/or the child. Most Hostile- Aggressive parents cannot bear the thought of the other parent getting the same rights as they do with the children. Although most children can adapt quite well to a variety of parenting arrangements, HAP parents will insist that for reasons of consistency and predictability, the child must be with them for a greater amount of time than with the other parent. The HAP parent will use the “home base” for the child argument.
Unilaterally make plans for the child on the other parent’s access time
HAP parents will sometimes plan activities for the child during the child’s scheduled time to be with the other parent. For instance, a custodial parent may sign the child up for a sports activity which may involve the child’s participation on days that the child will be with the other parent. Although having both parents show cooperation to support a common interest of the child is good, unilaterally planning the child’s time with the other parent this may be considered controlling and abusive when the other parent has less than 50% time share with the child, which is usually the case with most non-custodial parents.
Get the child to place blame and guilt on the other parent
When an HAP parent attempts to make plans for the child and finds that the other parent is not able to accommodate such plans, then the HAP parent will lay blame on the parent and tell the child they can’t go to the event because of the other parent. The HAP parent will say things to the child to make it look like it was the other parent’s fault such as, “you won’t be able to go now because your other parent does not really want you to go there”. The HAP parent will then tell friends and neighbours that the other parent did not want to do something good for the child.
Entice or bribe the child to not want to go with the other parent
Very similar to making plans for the child on the other parent’s time, HAP parents will sometimes entice the child to not want to go with the other parent. For instance, a custodial parent may offer such things as: to take the child to an outing at a cottage, to go boating, on a trip, get a new pet such as a dog or cat, etc. Most of the things that the parent offers are things that they know the child would really like to do or to have. By doing this, the parent instils in the child that materialistic things are more important than the child’s relationship with both of his/her parents.
Will say that the child does not want to speak to the other parent.
have the child call the other parent at prescribed times, even court ordered, and then say that the child did not want to speak to the other parent. Very often these children are afraid to even ask as they know the HAP parent will not be happy and may punish them in some ways.
Will not let older children speak for themselves.
HAP parents will generally call on behalf of the child even when the child is old or mature enough to relay the information to the other parent. For example, the HAP parent may call and tell the other parent that the child wants to come to their home for lunch. Rather than allowing the child to call himself/herself, the HAP parent will call to give the message.
Will undermine the other parent's authority
This could range from allowing a young child to stay up far too late at night or allowing the child not to do his/her homework. This is especially harmful with a teenage child as it encourages the child to manipulate one parent against the other to avoid discipline and consequences. Hostile-aggressive parents will allow the child to make decisions which clearly the child should not be making just for the purpose of getting the child to side with the HAP parent.
Will tell the child they cannot alter parenting times outlined on the court order because the court doen't allow it.
HAP parents try to deceive children by telling them that they cannot spend more time with the other parent because the court Order prohibits it. Although the HAP parent knows otherwise, the HAP parent wants the child to think that it is the court’s fault so that they can deflect blame away from themselves.
Will play on the children’s feeling of guilt and sympathy.
Some examples may include telling the child that they will be lonely or not loved if the child leaves to go with the other parent or telling the child that they were really looking forward to the child spending time with them for a specific event or function, even though it was the other parent’s parenting time. Children find it very difficult to express their wishes when put under pressure by the parent they are with at the time or against the wishes of the parent that they perceive to have the most power and control over them.
Will be uncooperative when it comes to working out summer and holiday schedules for children.
The hostile-aggressive parent will make all kinds of excuses and employ all sorts of tactics to impede negotiations between the other parent for summer holidays and other holidays throughout the year. The hostile-aggressive parent’s intention is to create uncertainty with the other parent, to create difficulties with the other parent’s schedule and to hopefully through the delay, to minimize the amount of time that the child will have to spend with the other parent. Quite often, an HAP parent will delay matters and then say that they already have things planned with the child, which of course, interferes with the non-custodial parent’s ability to schedule time with the child. The HAP parent is always looking for ways to make sure that the child’s time is scheduled around the HAP parent’s priorities and not around the child’s wishes or the priorities of the other parent.
Fail to involve the other parent in the choice of daycare providers.
Quite often the hostileaggressive parent will chose friends or people they know who will accept their side of the story without questioning them. They will search out to find day care providers who will side with them or bend the truth in their favour to help them make things difficult for the other parent. The daycare workers these parents choose often are ones who they know will not get "involved" to help resolve problems or will keep silent about reporting irregularities involving the children. Such daycare providers become, in effect, collaborative supporters to child abuse.
Choose third parties over the other parent to care for the child if they are unavailable.
Choose third parties over the other parent to care for the child when he/she is ill and not in school, regardless of the other parent’s availability and willingness to care for the child. The hostile-aggressive parent will use every opportunity to keep the other parent from having the chance to parent the child regardless of the wishes of the child or other parent so at times such as when the child is ill, the HAP will hire a babysitter in preference to allowing the other parent to care for the child.
Deny or delay access to the children by pretending that they are too sick or have too much homework, etc.
The hostile-aggressive parent will use every opportunity to keep the other parent from having the chance to parent the child regardless of the wishes of the child or other parent.
Create difficulties for the children to see the other parent on special occasions.
HAP parents will attempt to prevent the child from being with the other parent on special occasions such as birthdays, Father's or Mother's day, special family gatherings, etc. HAP parents can be very innovative in inventing excuses to keep children from seeing the other parent.
Insist that the children be returned precisely on time while not respecting these same rules themselves.
HAP parents may make a big issue about when the children are dropped off or picked up. Usually it is the sole custodial parent who is able to make the biggest fuss about this as the non-custodial parent has little ability to raise an objection.
Unwilling to make arrangements when situations arise which reasonably warrant some flexibility.
For instance, a hostile parent may refuse to vary parenting time to allow a child to attend events such as dance rehearsal, birthday parties and other events because they are desired by other parent.
Unwilling to any professional involved in helping the parents co-parent the children effectively.
Generally, the HAP parent does not want any other third parties involved who may bear witness to their Hostile-Aggressive Parenting. Quite often, the Hostile-aggressive parent will claim that third parties are biased or unprofessional as a way to justify not wanting to have them involved. HAP parents may initially support the involvement of third parties but then reject involvement of these people once they see that the third parties will not support their HAP behaviours.
Make claims of bias against any party involved with helping the family.
Generally, the HAP parent will try to make allegations of bias or non-professionalism against anyone who may become involved with helping the family. This may include assessors, social workers, access supervisors, child advocates, etc. HAP mothers will often allege that these people are members or supporters of “radical father’s rights” organizations in an attempt to discredit them before the court. Conversely, an HAP father may allege that the people are radical feminists or closely associated with women’s abuse shelters.
Take the children to their “own” counsellors/doctors/etc without the knowledge/permission of the other parent.
The hostile-aggressive parent will often take his/her child to a professional such as counsellor or family doctor to obtain documentation such as letters of support or opinions which may help them win to disrupt the child’s relationship with the other parent. The HAP parent will not want the professionals to obtain any input from the other parent as they do not want the professional to be influenced by information from the friendly parent, which often is only the truth.
Unwilling to consider any kind of fair and equal parenting arrangement for the child
Unwilling to consider any kind of fair and equal parenting arrangement for the child when such an arrangement is desired by the other parent and/or the child. Most Hostile- Aggressive parents cannot bear the thought of the other parent getting the same rights as they do with the children. Although most children can adapt quite well to a variety of parenting arrangements, HAP parents will insist that for reasons of consistency and predictability, the child must be with them for a greater amount of time than with the other parent. The HAP parent will use the “home base” for the child argument.
Unilaterally make plans for the child on the other parent’s access time
HAP parents will sometimes plan activities for the child during the child’s scheduled time to be with the other parent. For instance, a custodial parent may sign the child up for a sports activity which may involve the child’s participation on days that the child will be with the other parent. Although having both parents show cooperation to support a common interest of the child is good, unilaterally planning the child’s time with the other parent this may be considered controlling and abusive when the other parent has less than 50% time share with the child, which is usually the case with most non-custodial parents.
Get the child to place blame and guilt on the other parent
When an HAP parent attempts to make plans for the child and finds that the other parent is not able to accommodate such plans, then the HAP parent will lay blame on the parent and tell the child they can’t go to the event because of the other parent. The HAP parent will say things to the child to make it look like it was the other parent’s fault such as, “you won’t be able to go now because your other parent does not really want you to go there”. The HAP parent will then tell friends and neighbours that the other parent did not want to do something good for the child.
Entice or bribe the child to not want to go with the other parent
Very similar to making plans for the child on the other parent’s time, HAP parents will sometimes entice the child to not want to go with the other parent. For instance, a custodial parent may offer such things as: to take the child to an outing at a cottage, to go boating, on a trip, get a new pet such as a dog or cat, etc. Most of the things that the parent offers are things that they know the child would really like to do or to have. By doing this, the parent instils in the child that materialistic things are more important than the child’s relationship with both of his/her parents.
Very similar to making plans for the child on the other
parent’s time, HAP parents will often not pass on notices from school in
relation to children’s homework or school trips. HAP parents often want to
keep this information from the other parent to show that they have control
over the flow of information from the child’s school. Often HAP parents will
tell the school that the other parent is not allowed to obtain information
from the school without their consent.
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Not inform the other parent in
a timely manner when the child has been injured
HAP parents will often not inform the other parent if the child has injured themselves, even if the injuries are serious enough that the child had to be taken to the doctor’s office or hospital. The HAP parent will tell the other parent days later and sometimes not until the other parent’s regular parenting time. Sometimes the HAP parent may use the situation to tell the child that the other parent could not be bothered to see them when they were injured.
HAP parents will often not inform the other parent if the child has injured themselves, even if the injuries are serious enough that the child had to be taken to the doctor’s office or hospital. The HAP parent will tell the other parent days later and sometimes not until the other parent’s regular parenting time. Sometimes the HAP parent may use the situation to tell the child that the other parent could not be bothered to see them when they were injured.
Discard or sell gifts given by
the other parent while they were together
The hostile aggressive parent will “clear house” by throwing out wedding gifts, wedding gowns and rings and other memorabilia relating to the couple’s past relationship. Items which could be of immense value to a child in later years are discarded with little consideration.
Will refuse to participate in activities at the child’s school when the other parent is present
In some cases the other parent may be doing another totally separate activity in the school but the hostile-aggressive parent will not want to even be at the school, knowing the other parent is in the same building.
The hostile aggressive parent will “clear house” by throwing out wedding gifts, wedding gowns and rings and other memorabilia relating to the couple’s past relationship. Items which could be of immense value to a child in later years are discarded with little consideration.
Will refuse to participate in activities at the child’s school when the other parent is present
In some cases the other parent may be doing another totally separate activity in the school but the hostile-aggressive parent will not want to even be at the school, knowing the other parent is in the same building.
The HAP parent is often fearful of the child disclosing
information to outside third parties without their knowledge which may affect
their situation with the court. HAP parents are often fearful of third
parties asking the child about his/her wishes and preferences. Many HAP
parents will use their sole custodial status to prevent anyone professional
from speaking to the child so that the child is kept silent.
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Attempt to spread their hate
and animosity to the friends and/or extended family of the targeted parent
The HAP parent needs to be seen as the better parent and to achieve this goal will resort to many tactics to undermine the credibility and reputation of the other parent. The HAP parent will often speak unfavourably about the other parent to everyone they know.
Claim that there is a potential for conflict with their former spouse to thwart open discussion of the issues
Many HAP parents have difficulty defending their allegations when the other parent is present to defend themselves. To avoid embarrassment and being faced with often is the truth, HAP parents will tend to try to avoid open dialogue or family group conferences which tend to expose the lies of HAP parents. To thwart attendance at such meetings and conferences, HAP parents will often say that they are fearful for their safety to attend such a meeting and that being in the same room with their former spouse could pose a danger to them. Even when security measures are suggested, HAP parents will come up with some other excuse in an attempt to thwart any process which promotes openness and accountability.
The HAP parent needs to be seen as the better parent and to achieve this goal will resort to many tactics to undermine the credibility and reputation of the other parent. The HAP parent will often speak unfavourably about the other parent to everyone they know.
Claim that there is a potential for conflict with their former spouse to thwart open discussion of the issues
Many HAP parents have difficulty defending their allegations when the other parent is present to defend themselves. To avoid embarrassment and being faced with often is the truth, HAP parents will tend to try to avoid open dialogue or family group conferences which tend to expose the lies of HAP parents. To thwart attendance at such meetings and conferences, HAP parents will often say that they are fearful for their safety to attend such a meeting and that being in the same room with their former spouse could pose a danger to them. Even when security measures are suggested, HAP parents will come up with some other excuse in an attempt to thwart any process which promotes openness and accountability.
Many HAP parents play on their children’s guilt and tell
their child is that they will never be welcomed back in the home again if
they ever go to live with the other parent or show greater affection for the
other parent.
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Will coach the child to “spy”
on the other parent or pump the child for information
Many HAP parents will ask the child to report back to them about activities in the other parent’s home and will tell the child to keep their “spying” activities a secret from the other parent. Often HAP parents will interrogate the child for information after each child’s visit with the other parent.
Will make of false claims of parental conflict, while doing nothing to reduce such conflict
In many cases, the HAP parent actually creates the conflict before going to court as a strategy to win custody in court and then blame the other side for the conflict. A dead give away to HAP parents that attempt to use this strategy to their advantage is that they cannot show any real reasonable attempt to have tried to resolve the problem with outside third parties.
Many HAP parents will ask the child to report back to them about activities in the other parent’s home and will tell the child to keep their “spying” activities a secret from the other parent. Often HAP parents will interrogate the child for information after each child’s visit with the other parent.
Will make of false claims of parental conflict, while doing nothing to reduce such conflict
In many cases, the HAP parent actually creates the conflict before going to court as a strategy to win custody in court and then blame the other side for the conflict. A dead give away to HAP parents that attempt to use this strategy to their advantage is that they cannot show any real reasonable attempt to have tried to resolve the problem with outside third parties.
In many cases, the HAP parent will creates conflict with
their child many times when the child returns from visits with the other
parent. The parent may interrogate the child about the visit, or may say bad
things about the other parent to get the child upset. When the child does get
upset out of frustration, the HAP parent will report the child’s behaviour
and report that this problem seems caused by the visits with the other
parent. In most cases, the HAP parent is trying to have the child’s access to
the other parent reduced by placing blame on the other parent.
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Friday, May 6, 2016
Class Action Suit Against Currupt Family Courts Resources and News
Parental Rights Class Action - Home (Join Now!) This could be a moment in history when non-custodial parents have some significant and substantive changes in their personal and public lives and may provide varying degree of redemption and mending with the children of alienated parents. This is something to seriously consider given the overwhelming injustices that have subsumed and destroyed the lives of so many--so many of the oer 50% of divorced families over the years.
Family Court Petition
http://www.petition2congress.com/3499/cps-family-court-corruption/
This could be a moment in history when non-custodial parents have some significant and substantive changes in their personal and public lives and may provide varying degree of redemption and mending with the children of alienated parents. This is something to seriously consider given the overwhelming injustices that have subsumed and destroyed the lives of so many--so many of the oer 50% of divorced families over the years.
Another story on the corruption of Family Courts
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2014/01/09/documentary-divorce-corp-exposes-corruption-in-family-courts.html
Whistle Blower
Parental Rights
http://www.parentadvocates.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=article&articleID=7681
Monday, May 2, 2016
Dead and Beaten
Dead Beaten Dad: A fictional blog of child alienation, struggle, humor and tragedy of loss and redemption.
--Fiction is in the eye of the beholder
It’s six o’clock in the morning. I couldn’t sleep because
the woman I love, beautiful, wonderful, generous, devoted and tender snores
like a mac truck on a dusty gravel road in Texas at the break of dawn.
Actually, I’d be lying if that were really the case, not that she doesn’t snore
like a giant eating boulders but that isn’t the real reason I can’t sleep. Neither
does the fact that her little girl (a sublimely warm and delightful but leaky
little girl who needs frequent bathroom visits during the night. She is a doll
and I have raised her as my own since she was an infant. No that it not why I
can’t sleep.
Recently I lost my
children—all three of them. I am praying that this tragedy is not permanent but
my current state of mind, based on 6 years of painful experience, allows me no
other revelation for the future. You see, I’m a dead beaten dad. Not a dead
beat dad, let’s not be mistaken. I am a parent who has been beaten, bloodied,
humiliated, bankrupt, on the brink of losing my job, alienated from my kids and
all but destroyed by a narcissistic baby mamma intent on character assignation by
my any means necessary (in no way do I mean to impugn Malcom X by such a
comparison).
I am a parent subject to
the arbitrary whims of a Family Court which at best has proved indifferent to
my case and at worst has actively and ruthlessly denied me, at every turn, a
fair and balanced opportunity to present either evidence or argument.
I have
come to realize that Family Court is an assembly line of non-custodial
injustice. It is rotten to the core. Its corruption is on par with the Brooklyn
Police corruption that Frank Serpico uncovered in the 1960-70s, the housing
scandals of the early 21st century featuring Goldman Sachs and the Lehman
Brothers; and the Nixon Watergate scandal. While the players in family court
are not nearly as known, the social damage is just as pervasive:
Disjointed
families, emotionally shattered children, bankrupt and destitute non-custodial
parents who often are left with little or no opportunity to see their kids,
loss of work and existing in broken an
destitute lives.
The social notoriety of this bankrupt judicial system is not
as conspicuous as Watergate or Serpico but the wide spread damage has enormous
and deleterious effects upon society. The myriad of garden variety divorces in
New York and the rest of the country, a country estimated to have between 40 to
60 percent divorce rates depending on where and in what socio-economic income
bracket they arise out of.
I have lived this life. I am a professional, an academic and
teacher, yet I am not rich enough to afford legal counsel. My income, however,
does not place me within the socio-economic bracket to have a court appointed
lawyer. I have spent almost have of my retirement and took out enormous loans
just to pay a lawyer for the divorce some six years ago. Since then, I have had
to defend myself. Fortunately, I am adept at research and since I teach possess
a modicum of oral proficiency. Non-the-less, Judges still don’t take me seriously,
I have no connections within the broader courthouse community and I lack the legalese
and knowledge of courtroom protocol that is so extolled and relied upon (to the
extreme) that my seemingly educational advantages have little to know advantage
at all.
However, I have eked out enough persuasiveness, at least
enough to allow myself to be completely overrun by my ex’s high powered
attorney. While I am educated I come
from an impoverished family while my advisory is loaded. Big problem. One,
people with money can out spend you and “out time” you by constantly finding
ways to adjourn cases. This is hard when you have to work and find yourself
constantly in court. Deaths in the family, family emergencies, sick days, flat
tires and doctors’ visits have a way of piling up.
My boss deduced my excuses
early on and now I am on the verge of losing my job. No more missed days for me
or else I will lose my job (a tenure track job at a college!) If that is not
enough, the state unfairness of the New York State child support calculator is astoundingly
obvious to everyone but the judges. In my fictional case (because this blog is
manifestly fictional of course) I make $75, 000 and my ex makes 145,000
dollars.
My family is dirt poor and hers is filthy rich. She has well hidden
and protected stocks and is generously supported with out-of-pocket vacations,
seasonal ski tickets for the entire family, clothing, furniture, food, cleaning
services, child care and just about anything you can possibly imagine. While
this was made palpable clear to the judge, I was nevertheless ordered to pay
$18,00 a month in child support. I have 5 outstanding debts left-over in my
name from the marriage (all waiting in line to garnish my wages.) After finding
myself suffering from insurmountable debt I was unable to pay child support for
a year so not only are my wages being garnished, they are further impacted by the sundry fees
and taxes associated with the process.
Moreover, the $200,000 student debt I
incurred has taken a toll both on my finances and my credit report. My credit
report! In New York City one can’t get a place to stay without a minimum credit
score which mine (hovering around the 400 level) leaves me with very little
options for places to live. At present, I can’t afford my rent anymore and once
evicted will not be able to live close enough to continue working at my current
job.
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